|I like this gal - look at her - big head, skinny legs, flawless arms - yes, she is a cartoon. Point taken.|
I love winter for so many reasons. I love being able to cover up my imperfections with countless layers of cute clothing, boot legged jeans, leggings (NOT jeggings), long skirts, adorable sweaters, etc. I also love the fact that I am not in sundresses, bathing suits, shorts, capris and other leg exposing paraphernalia, not because I loathe any of the above (ok, I'm lying, I DO loathe bathing suits), but because I have to shave my legs. As you know, I'm Greek. We don't have hair that is light and airy, we don't boast that our hairs bleach out at the first sign of contact with the sun. No - our hair is coarse, heavy, thick, and awful - and it is NOT uncommon for 3-5 hairs to sprout out of one follicle. Bastards. That being said, these little disposal crappy single blade Bics and cutesy Ban de Soleils and what not simply do not, I repeat do NOT work on our hair. This is one of the many reasons I hate shaving. Here's a fun little flow chart I found to help me decide on days where shaving is a possibility.
After being mercilessly teased at 10 years old by fellow mates on my Midget League Cheerleading Squad, I knew I was different. I looked darker and wayyy hairier than my blond, blue-eyed counterparts. A few weeks later, during a cruise with my parents (of the Greek Isles, of course), I snuck into our shoebox of a bathroom, swiped my mom's travel razor and took it to my virgin stubble. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! My shrieks were heard all through the Promenade deck, I am certain. My mom came running (it was actually more of a hop since our cabin couldn't have been more than 80 square feet. LOL). She looked at me as the blood dripped down my shin and just shook her head.
"Well, now you are going to be shaving for the rest of your life." She tried to explain to me how to successfully shave the shins and the knee, but to no avail. To this day, I still cringe every time I skim over my shin, just waiting for bloodshed. Once, for Christmas when I was, ummm 13? My overtrusting mother bought me an Epilady. Do you remember those torture devices? I was soo excited, I immediately ran into the bathroom on Christmas morning and tried it out. My poor mom. Again, she heard blood curdling screams coming from the bathroom. Let's just say that little contraption went back to the store the very next day.
|Slow and steady over the shins and knee.|
|The Epilady: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? No. Too painful for a man to handle, but made by a man for women to suffer. The developers at Remington were real masochists.|
Nowadays, I use Hubs' super heavy duty four blade razor for men. Isn't that sexxxxxy!? AND I use shaving cream. Sometimes I hear profanities coming from the shower. "HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY RAZOR AGAIN???? WHY CAN'T YOU CLEAN IT WHEN YOU'RE DONNNNNNNNE!??" I give him an apologetic and loving smile followed by a guilty wink and promise to do better.
Those of you thinking, or getting ready to suggest Waxing to me. I'm Greek..I've waxed all of my life. Unless they come up with a Jacuzzi sized Wax Tub and charge for the full body dip, I'm not doing it. It takes too freaking long and I don't have $200 to wax every 6 weeks. Thanks for the thought though!
Thanks for reading friends! Until next time, I've got a 5:00 shadow on my legs already, and it's only 8:00am,