Don't Be Tardy to the (Potty) Party...

Well, as most of you know, I have three boys.  11, 4, and 3.  Over the years, I've learned that there are few things that result in the stomach grabbing, heavy duty laughs and giggles quite like Potty Humor.  With these boys, all one person has to do is toot, or hear a toot, and they are breathless and hysterical for a good 8-10 minutes.  I, on the other hand, usually sit there, baffled, rolling my eyes, and on occasion,  fight back the giggles that just encourage this silliness.  We're girls, we're taught to not talk about making poos and tooting and 'crap' like that.  Boys are made of the kind of cloth that revolves around the toilet and their junk.  It can't be helped.  It is in their DNA.

The other day, one of the boys called the other one Poopyhead (a favorite name of one of their fellow preschoolers).   I'd had enough of the shenanigans for the day so I stepped in.  I followed the advice of a friend of mine who suggested on Facebook that a good way to remedy this problem is by, what I'll call, a Party in the Potty.   This is how it went down:

I got all of my boys into one bathroom together, closed the door, and let them have at it.  I told them anything potty-related could roll off their tongues without getting into any trouble.  Suddenly, outbursts of anything having to do with butts, poop, pee, etc. started flying through the air like July 4th Fireworks.  I told them NOT to even think of coming out until they were done.  At first, they laughed uncontrollably, as they yelled...BUTTHEAD, POOPYHEAD, POOPYPANTS, PEEPEE, DOODOOHEAD, FART, POO, etc.  The little ones repeated whatever the other said, and they pretty much laughed as they yelled the same several words over and over again.  The laughter continued for another few minutes and happened.  They were asking if they could come out because it wasn't fun anymore.  Mission accomplished!  Give them Carte Blanche on Sewage Verbiage and they quickly maxed out their credit limit and wanted to cancel their account.  Give them what they think they can't have and they'll quickly discard it with yesterday's toys.  Thank you FB friend for your brilliant advice.

If you have this problem with potty mouths and want my advice, here's what I'd do...

*Keep Calm and Stop Laughing:  I'm sure that your first instinct is to crack up, high five your spouse and make jokes.  This gives them the attention they crave and the laughs they thrive on.  Try to stay cool and give them little reaction.

*Divert Divert Divert!  "Would you like a cookie?"   Usually works for me.  I'm Greek - when in doubt, I offer food.  Don't judge.

*Use Shameless Tactics:  "I think a new episode of Ninjago is on! Want to watch it!?"  or  "Mommy would really like to learn that new Wii game you guys love, want to show me how to play it?"  That should change the poopyhead name calling to instant friendship, camaraderie and excitement over a video game!

*Suggest alternatives:  "Don't call your brother poopyhead..why don't you try something more fun like 'Gummyworm Breath' or 'Supermanhead' ? "   The less these alternatives make sense, the funnier they are.  You will find that your children won't opt for the foolishness of these names and lose interest quickly, thus returning to their previously scheduled activity.

*If all else fails, try the Potty Party.  It could last anywhere from one minute to one hour - but you'll see that it tires quickly.

Rememember that God awful song "Don't be Tardy for the Party" by Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta? I have her to thank for the title of this post.

Whatever works for you, just know that every mom, child, parent, goes through's all part of growing up.

Until next time,
~DG (aka Queen of the Doodooheads)


  1. ohhhh DG. twin four year old boys and their daddy think that farting and poop are the funniest things EVER....unfortunately, they are teaching their little sis that this stuff is hilarious, too

  2. Pure brilliance!! As a mother of 3 boys myself, there is no shortage of potty humor in our household. During the Christmas holidays, I thought we'd never get the tree decorated due to the never ending "nutcracker" jokes, and boys rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles. i will definately be hosting a "potty party" myself, probably (unfortunately) in the very near future!

  3. The utterance of the words fart, poo, underwear, or pee (or any mix of them all) bring pure chuckles and laughs around here. From both my girls AND my boys. Love this and am doing it!

  4. Holy CRAP (pun definitely intended) this is BRILLIANT!!! I'm so trying this with my boys...and my nephews who when combined completely saturate our house with little boy pee and poopoo talk. Awesome. You rock!

  5. My 8 year old son is teaching that to is 5 year old little sister. I'm going to try it!!

  6. you are brilliant... I'm sort of embarrassed to admit this, but since you brought it up -- my GIRLS talk about butt, poop and beeping (aka fart -- I grew up with boys and was always grossed out by the word so I gave it a new name). I'm hoping it is just a silly stage and thank gawd I'm with a man that considers that a private

    your suggestion is one of brilliance and can be applied to many different scenario's... thank you for sharing.

  7. I love this!!! I think I will be having a potty party this weekend. My 3 yr old needs to get it out of her system!


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