I've got one step on the staircase that I like to call the Magic Step. It's the step where 4/5 Dentists surveyed in our home put shit that needs to go upstairs. Unfortunately, only 1/4 Dentists in this house actually take said shit upstairs. Dr. Mom, DDS (Damn inDentured Servant).
"Honey, take this upstairs and put it in your room so when you need it, you know where it is."
11 year old walks over to stairway and places on step. I am distracted by 10,000 other things and do not realize it was put there until 10:00pm. (Mental note: Yell at 11 year old in morning. (Actual mental retention of this information: 28 seconds. Poof. Gone from memory.)
Hubs likes to take off his socks when he gets home. He's like some kind of Grizzly Adams Mountain Man that needs to be barefoot the second he has the opportunity. Where do the socks go? On the Magic Step. Sometimes, I just walk on by them. For days. But then I can't take it any longer and I grab them on the way up. Most days, I accept this as my fate. I am the Magic Step Fairy. Things that sit on the Magic Step disappear and end up in the place they belong. I'm like Samantha from Bewitched with a twitch of my nose the object disappears. Most days I'm ok with this. Today I was not.
|You must have me confused with the maid?|
AM I THE ONLY G-D PERSON IN THIS HOUSE THAT CAN TAKE ANYTHING UPSTAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRS?????????????
Family stares in horror. Oh shit. I've gone mental on them over stair clutter. Mama needs a drink. Everyone step away from mama. I've got this.
I have left things for days - even weeks to see if anyone would touch it. Not only did they not, they actually skipped the step altogether and walked over them. This takes talent. I mean to visibly catch the item in your sight, then mentally say to yourself, nope, not picking that up today, and proceed up the stairs is a feat in itself if you ask me. See, when I head upstairs and I see something that needs picked up I say to myself, pick it up now, or attempt to pick it up later and risk tripping and falling down the stairs and ending up in a cast. Those are my options running through my head when encountering the Magic Step.
|The thing is - if I fall down the steps and end up breaking something , I'm the only one that will suffer. |
Mom simply cannot be laid up or the whole system will fail!
I love Everybody Loves Raymond - so I will leave you with this classic clip from the episode called The Suitcase. We've all been there. We've all got a Magic Step. God I love that I'm not alone in the Magical World of Housewivery!
| Check out this clip - |