Sunday

Fool Me Once, Shame on You..Fool me Ten Times, & I'm Gone.


That's not how the saying goes.  But that is how things went this past week for my Facebook DG Page.




Since when did it become routine for Admins to be routinely shit on for expressing themselves through cartoons, ecards and photos?  Since recently.   And you know, we can't keep blaming 'trolls' for this.  Trolls were internet jackasses who went around causing trouble just for the sake of getting a rise out of people because they live in a van down by the river eating a diet of government cheese and have nothing else to do but to cause a stir wherever they could.   No.  This new group of people who are routinely flexing their typing fingers are not trolls - they are everyday, ordinary people who, instead of silently skimming their newsfeed, find something to disagree with and from behind the safety of their computer screen start a typed out, verbal assault on anyone and everyone they disagree with. 


Delete comment; ban user, delete comment; ban user, rinse and repeat over and over.  Now - I finally get the meaning of this brilliant quote.  I cannot expect anything to change so the decision to move on is the best one for me.

I have said it once and I will say it again, they are the 1%.  I still believe that.  The very high majority of us are funny, good, optimistic, hopeful open-minded, forgiving, respectful, functioning members of society.  If they see something on a page that might be questionable, they ignore it, they move on, and if they are really offended by it, they unlike the page and move on.  This 1% though - no.  They are not going to pass it up, they are not going to miss an opportunity to tell the world WHY it's offensive, WHY it's not funny, WHY they find it in poor taste or bad judgement.  It's like they are all on high alert and reserve the right to be offended at all things.



Look, not every post, photo, blog, cartoon, whatever is going to be funny to everyone.  People are different in how they interpret things - not everyone interprets the Mona Lisa the same way but you don't see people in art galleries throwing paint on it and writing WHORE in big letters do you?   You don't see people throwing their Gin and Tonic on Louis C.K. while he's doing stand up because he has a foul mouth.  You don't see people screaming  I FIND THAT OFFFFFFENNNNNNNSIVVVVVE to Ricky Gervais when he says the most highly inappropriate things in his stand up routine.   If they get hate mail in real life from their own group of conscientious objectors, then that's fine - they are getting paid millions to help those negative comments get digested.  Facebook admins don't make a penny.  They invest their time into making people laugh.  They put their creative juices into coming up with things to post and share and laugh about.  I'm not saying all FB pages are created equally.  Some are in better taste than others, but in their info page, you can usually find what they are all about before you like them.  And if you don't get a clear picture of that, you certainly will over a few days of reading their posts.  Hitting the unlike button with one simple click is so much easier than launching a full on attack.  There are of course, exceptions to every rule - if something is incredibly offensive, that it questions the very soul of freedom of speech and rocks you to your core, then you can always report a page for its extremely inappropriate content.  I am not going to list examples - you can figure it out. 


I had created this card one day when I posted something, and prefaced it with "sorry for using the fbomb but this was too funny to pass up" - and attached a photo about "hope you get well soon because your cough is fucking disgusting"   Immediately, someone wrote "I am not sharing this ecard because I find your language offensive."  Did I ask you to share my cough e card?  Ohh she pissed me off that day.  So I made this ecard but never posted it.  It does make me laugh though when I look at the little boy's pouty face.  Little did I know, I'd actually feel strongly enough one day to pull the trigger on the delete button.  But you know, when you've had enough - you've had enough.

Personally, I always thought if I felt good about the content that I was posting, that people would respond favorably to it, even if they had varying views from my own.  (Having almost 20,000 fans in 6 months would prove that to be almost true..)  The other day, I realized that maybe I was totally wrong about that.  Maybe the thought of creating a page to make people happy and laugh a lot is an impossible goal because there are some people in this world who live and love to be miserable and thrive off of bringing happy people down to their miserable level.  Nope.  Not going to happen to me.  I have been through too much in my lifetime to ever let complete strangers do that to me.  Sadly, the wonderful people of my page have to suffer.  I know people were wondering why I couldn't just delete and ban the nasty comments and people but after the tenth time of dealing with this, I am tired of babysitting adults, and it was just time to let the page go out in a Blaze of Glory.  Doesn't mean I don't adore and love the 99% because I do - truly.  I appreciate and adore the thousands that read, commented, laughed, shared my days with me on a regular basis.  And I already miss that - kind of like saying goodbye to a close friend who is moving away.  Thank goodness I still have my blog, and I will still have my outlet on my terms without having to play referee or teacher, babysitter, or moderator on a daily basis.

In an interview with O Magazine, Maggie Gyllenhaal hit it on the head with this:

It took me a while - and it's an ongoing challenge, to be honest - to stop seeking approval.  But one day, and this might sound cheesy, I took my daughter, Ramona, to see the new Muppets movie.  There's a part where Kermit the Frog says, "Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, you know?  Maybe you just need one person."  When I heard that, I started crying.  There's just so much pressure to be a great mother, wife, friend, actress, or whatever your job may be.  If some aspect of you wants everyone to universally love and understand you and approve of everything you do - well, that's a sad life.  You'll bend yourself into a pretzel trying to be all these things you think you're supposed to be.  These days, I'm better at saying, Wait a minute.  It's all right if others don't approve, because I believe in what I'm doing........This is my work.  I'm doing the best I can.  I know not everyone will love it and that is fine.   (Oprah magazine June 2012 as told to Crystal Martin)
Wasn't that powerful?  I cannot believe that I read that article on a day that I questioned my very purpose for creating this blog and partnered Facebook page.  Those words sang to me in the most beautiful, easy to understand melody.  I'm happy, I'm at peace - and I'm going to keep on blogging.  Facebook was a fun run - it really, really was, but when I found myself posting something with laughter and joy, only to find someone had misconstrued and manipulated it into something quite the opposite, on more than a dozen occasions, I knew I was done swimming against the current.  My heart just isn't strong enough to take the daily kidney punches and verbal abuse of those who live to bring others down.  That was the extreme opposite of why I started that page in the first place. 



I appreciate and respect each and everyone of you who have read this and allowed me to speak my peace about it.  I'll be here on blogger if you ever need a smile.

Until then my loves - keep on laughing until your belly hurts - be kind to each other - and thank you for being here,
~DG

57 comments:

  1. Loved that article! Wow, Kermit the Frog has some wisdom!
    The feeling of needing everyone's approval can be overwhelming. I struggle with it in life, and it is a daunting task. Honest to god, and I mean this, reading your excerpt from O magazine struck a nerve this morning. A good nerve.It came at a great time. I had just logged onto my blog, and went from 29 followers down to 28. ( I know, I know, my blog is just waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to popular) I started to obsess, even venting to my husband before he left for the beach. What did I do? How did I lose a follower? Will I ever get to 30?
    I wonder what post made her decide that I sucked! Deep breaths,it's o.k. -I think.LOL!
    Anyway, I love your blog! Made me smile from day one! People need to get a life! SERIOUSLY!
    Keep on keepin on with your Diva self ;)

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    1. I am a follower now - so you are back up to 29. And do yourself a favor - ignore the numbers...it's not worth analyzing your worth like that. You keep writing like you are (which I think is really great) and the rest will come. Big hugs. xo

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    2. Same thing happened to me the other day because I joked with the follower and I don't think she appreciated my brand of humor after all. I felt horrible that I offended her. It's hard to ignore the numbers but I try. I have 17 followers. ;)

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  2. I will miss you on FB but I completely understand!!! Enough is enough! It is just very upsetting that people have to behave the way that they do. You are always so funny and positive. Never would I misinterpret something as offensive or ignorant (or even worse, unpatriotic).
    You better believe that I will be following your blog regularly and sharing your posts on my own little facebook page:)
    As long as your are happy, than that is what matters!!!! xoxo

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  3. I will embrace your smart words of advice whenever someone gets me down. I've been lucky so far. I only have just over 1000 folks on my FB page - the more fans- the more chance for trouble. How in THEEE hell did you get almost 20,000 fans in 6 months??? I'm so jealous. Okay, except for the dozen fans of yours that shit on you. They can stay away.
    I keep thinking what went down and it irks the crap out of me. But you are a fabulous writer and need no further affirmation from us- but we'll gladly give it to you and hugs, licks and kisses. (Dumpster baby reference there with the licks!!) Muwah!! xxoxo

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    1. by the way- "Unknown" is me- Rebecca (Frugalistablog) not sure why it didn't show it.

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    2. Awww little bunny FruFru. Thanks sweetgirl. You always make me laugh. kiss kiss xo

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  4. I'm one of those people that gets offended at...well, almost nothing. I think the little boy pouting ecard is great. I'll be staying tuned in via blogger, keep up the good work.

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  5. I don't have kids, but you're still funny. :)

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    1. Kids aren't a pre-req for having fun here - I am so happy you found me. Thanks Katie. Love your doggie swimmer! xo

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  6. You will definitely be missed on there, but I'm happy to find you here. Facebook actually made me lazy with my blog reading, so you have inspired me to go back to actually reading complete blog posts again. MUCH more entertaining anyway! Take care of yourself--and keep up the good attitude--don't let the haters win. It's funny how easy it is for people to bully others when they are hiding behind a computer screen...
    http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/05/at-least-i-have-pasta.html

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  7. I made an ecard for you, but couldn't paste it here...I'll get it to you somehow...I'm pretty tenacious!

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    1. You crack me up. I'd LOVE to see your ecard - send it to domesticgoddess@metrocast.net Hugs and thanks..DG

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  8. UGH!!!! Why is my comment I posted earlier not here?!! That always happens to me! I am sure this one will vanish too. But I said something along the lines of...
    I will miss you on FB but totally understand! enough is enough and I don't understand people sometimes!
    Everything you post is funny and you are so positive. I would never take anything you post as offensive or ignorant (or even worse, unpatriotic).
    I will be keeping up with your blog and I will share your posts on my own fb page:)
    xoxo

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  9. I hate that you had to delete your FB page because so many "adults" had to act like children. You'll be missed but at least you're sticking around in my Blogger feed for whenever I need a giggle!!

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    1. I hate that too - really I do. It's just time to regroup that's all. So glad you'll come back to read for a laugh. xo

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  10. I'm sad that you deleted your FB page, it's like you've left the conversation. I get it though. I do. It's incredibly hard to not take it personally when someone says that whatever you've done is not funny, etc. I think we're all so sensitive. Readers are sensitive and feel the need to let the writer know that line 4 was offensive. Writers are sensitive that ONE reader found line 4 offensive while 10000 found it hysterical. Why do we focus on that ONE person? We ALL need to loosen up a bit. I loved Maggie's quote - I'm embracing it now.

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    1. Eh - I'm like in a self-imposed Time Out to re-evaluate my view on things. FB had been so difficult lately anyways seemed like a good thing to do for now. I'll be back at some point to re-join the conversation. ;) You are right on the money with loosening up. Thank you for always being so good to me. xo

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  11. Doggone it! I wanted to correct The grammar and ended up deleting the whole comment.
    Anyway, the gist was that it bummed me out to see all the negativity thrown your way over a really funny post. I was afraid to post a comment there for fear of being sucked into the fray, which is silly. Some people are too sensitive and they Need to teach others a lesson. I thought freedom of speech was something we were fighting for too.

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    1. No worries about grammar on my page - I am not a grammar nazi. :) It wasn't just that post - just too many in times past. xo

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  12. That sucks--so sorry! I write about having a heart attack, so I guess my potential to have people offended is low--although in my face to face dealings with folks I have high potential. I will continue to follow you here because I love what you write:)!

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    1. LOL...I don't mean to laugh bc clearly it's not a laughing matter - but you are too funny. Glad you are here. xo

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  13. Understandable, but still it is a pity to see you leave because of this shit. Glad you still have your blog, so I can read your funnies anyway. Big hug from across the Atlantic.

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    1. Carin - you have been so good to me - thank you for all of your kindness and support not just today but since the early days. xo

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  14. I'm grateful that I found your Facebook page before you deleted it... I so enjoy your sense of humor!

    The Albert Einstein quote is one of my favorites... over the years for me has evolved in to: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again KNOWING THE RESULT!

    I admire your take on the goodness in people and not allowing that 1% to alter your belief...

    I guess, I'm jaded... it does not surprise me. I keep on because of those that remind me of the funny, goodness and laughter that still exists even among the shitheads!

    I will most certainly visit you here... thank you for letting me visit you! :) Thank you for the laughs and thought provoking posts!

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    1. You are so kind to post such nice things...Please come visit. xo

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  15. If it hadn't been for your fb page, I never would have started my own blog...so count me with those sad to see it gone. On the plus side, think of how much more fun stuff you'll have time for now that you don't have to stress about it and babysit your page. Shine on, and go outside and play. :)

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    1. Aww - so glad I helped you get started! YES...I have been playing outside in the sun! xo Will come see you soon...

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  16. I'll keep up with you on the blogger, but will miss all the funny stuff you posted on your FB page. I hope any choice you make leaves you happy and fulfilled. Marian @ just keep swimming

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    1. GIrl - I kept swimming and swimming -but just wanted to be in the shallow end for a while! Love and Hugs girl - DG

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  17. I love you more than my luggage... I'm happy to have found you on Facebook. Pissed that the asshats got to win, but I get it. It's sad and tiring when people suck so bad that you have to invest time, energy and emotion in what's supposed to be a fun outlet. I've got you on blogger and you're stuck with me.

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    1. You are too funny - I'm so glad to be stuck with you girl. xo

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  18. Who needs fb anyway!!! You go girl-you are a trendsetter!

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    1. PFFFFT I almost spit my drink out! Trendsetter..that is so sweet! I love it - I hope you come visit me here!

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  19. I'm so sad you left FB, I don't check my blog nearly enough to see when you write something new, but I am going to start checking more often so I can giggle with you.

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    1. Awww - I'll be here when you need a giggle don 't worry! xo

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  20. I never knew you had a FB page, so I guess I'm not missing anything. However, I have to say that there is one particular shade of orange-ish yellow on the lower left corner of your blog page that I find offensive.

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    1. Mista Johnny - I was kind of a big deal on FB (trying to keep a straight face).

      No matter how hard I try - I can't get that orange-yellow color the right hue to make everyone happy.
      Son of a ....
      Go smell your Mandles and don't bother me ok?
      :) DG (still one of your biggest Lunchers)

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  21. Replies
    1. Do i have a choice w/ captcha? I'd like robots to have a chance to comment as well so if I can get rid of it - I will. Please advise a clueless blogger.

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    2. I set mine up so that comment moderation is on for every post older than two weeks. I almost never get spam, and I'm ok with moderating the odd comment someone leaves on an old post. For some weird reason, spammers always tend to try to comment on old posts. At least that's been my experience, anyway. :)

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    3. Oddly enough, your comment went to my junk email. No joke. Ah the irony.

      I am going to attempt to fix it. No more captcha on my page. I'm putting my foot down. ;) And why are they spelling it like they are from Boston? Shouldn't it be Capture? Sons of..

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  22. I think your blog is hilarious and actually inspired me to start writing one of my own (even if not as regularly as I should). People need to lighten up or at the very least have the respect to just unfollow if their no longer enjoying the content, rather then rant about the content that they've signed up to read! Seriously, some people's kids!! Thanks again for making me smile when all I want to do is kill my husband and ignore my kid.

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    1. I am so happy I inspired you - it is very therapeutic isn't it? People most definately need to lighten up or learn to ignore - but until then - we have each other. xo

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  23. My goodness, I miss you on Facebook. I'm glad I can still find you here. It's sad that the 1% ruined the experience not only for you, but for us. It's not fair that there are assholes in the world that can't let things go, but alas, that's life.

    Keep your head up, and know that you created something wonderful. We will go wherever you are... if that's just blogger, then so be it. I'm here, I'm still a fan, and I always will be.

    Hugs,
    —Jen

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    1. Jen thanks so much love...I appreciate it! xo

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  24. I didn't get the opportunity to see what was happening on FB but I know I enjoy reading everything you post here! With only a handful of follwers, I fortunately haven't had the pleasure of responding to any negativity yet and probably won't. I'm just not as good at this as so many others of you are.

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    1. Just keep writing - it's a beautiful outlet..don't worry about how many followers - just having kind ones that support you is key. xo

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  25. will keep following DG, because you are awesome and sweet and good and kind and funny!

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  26. oh this is wonderful and so captures your spirit. I've said it before and will keep saying it, you are a one classy bitch. I adore you.

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  27. Insightful, Johnny sent me. I'll be back. Mary in NY

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  28. I am so sad you are not on f.b anymore! But I am glad to know I have not gone crazy. In the last week I have searched you probably 10 times and your page wouldn't come up. Now I know why. I have not been a follower for long, I found you via another page. You got me hooked on your awesome e-cards, but as I went back and read old blogs I laughed out loud on every one of them. I think we are living parallel lives!! My absolute favorite is one of your recents (Bar hopping to Crib Hopping). I totally identify. I sent it to so many people who I knew would enjoy....especially my husband!!!
    I hate it for you that people spend their time trying to take away all of your fun instead of just moving on if they don't like what you are saying. I just don't get how someone thinks it's their right to censor the rest of us if they don't agree with it. I consider myself to be very conservative and if a blog/fb page I follow discusses something that is offensive to me I pass for the day and come back when it's something that I can get onboard with. The crazy thing to me is that I think your stuff is pretty tame compared to a lot of stuff out there!
    I never ever comment on blogs like this, but I just had to tell you how much I love your blog and not to loose heart.

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  29. This makes me really angry...Not you dear but the people that can't keep their danged mouths shut and who can't take a joke...

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  30. I realized that you weren't in my newsfeed anylonger, so I had to hunt you down. I apologize for my fellow man. It really makes me wonder why these people do this. Do they think they know it all? Are they bored? Do they belong to a cult? Ugh! Get it together you ignorant, no fun, giant asshole!
    I miss you DG, I will come visit your blog, and I hope you keep making the rest of us laugh.

    The 99%

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