Wednesday

The Micro-mom-ager



Thanks to Overworked Supermom for posting this clip on her Facebook page.  What a riot! Special thanks to Baby Blues for these hilarious parenting cartoons.






The usual disclaimer of sorts...this is just meant to be silly, funny, & lighthearted.  Everyone parents differently. I totally get there are reasons for needing to be the sole caretaker/micromomager out of necessity. I also get there are many moms who don't necessarily have to be in total control and are missing out on some really great help from their husbands because they just can't let go a little.  There are so many great fathers out there  - luckily - I am married to one of them who not only has a great sense of humor, but has the patience of a saint. I could not function without his help - and these boys adore him, look up to him, and know that they can count on him, too. All of that being said - let's go have  a laugh.  xo



Ok.  I'll admit it.  With Eldest, I was known to Micromomage quite a bit. 

You're holding him wrong.  He doesn't like that.
Don't - arrgh - no - watch - his head - his HEAD!
We can ONLY use $40/bottle Uber-Sensitive Baby Wash!
He JUST ate - stop bouncing him he's gonna spit upppp ...I TOLD YOU.
That onesie doesn't even match his outfit - what are you BLIND?
NO NO NO! You don't give a little one steak until he's at least 4 and has a full set of teeth!
He can't sleep in our bed - we'll smother him!
I make my own organic baby food for a reason - he only gets one shot at a healthy start!
He's too little for Cheerios..he'll choke!  We'll be safe and wait until he's 3!

Then Middler came along - - - 7 years later.

It started again.  Only this time - it wasn't AS bad.
Now the one liners were more like.

I don't remember!  I have some kind of amnesia!
Where's Eldest? Just take care of him would you?
$40/bottle Baby wash? No way! Baby Aveeno will do just fine!
No - you are not giving him a bath - he only wants ME or he'll throw a fit and cry for hours!
How could technology change so much in 7 years?
Just bring him in bed with us already!
That doesn't look right to me.
I don't remember much - but you are definitely doing that wrong.
Go to the store and buy a 24 pack of Organic Baby Food - I don't have time to Puree all damn day!
JUST GIVE HIM TO ME.  He needs someone who knows what they're doing!
He's 2 - cut his steak up really fine - he'll be ok - he has teeth, right?
Give him a bowl of Cheerios - there's a hole in them for a reason - it helps them to not choke.  (faulty reasoning - and don't take this advice - this is a just a silly blog!)

Then I had Youngest just 13 months later and most micromomaging went out the door.

Oh, I don't care - just use the Men's Bodywash on him - I forgot to get babywash! (Oh stop it, I'm kidding....don't use soap at all...babies aren't dirty!)  <--kidding again, calm down people!
Just take one of them from me and do something..play with them..nap with them..anything - please - I only have 2 arms for goodness sake!   If I had 8 arms I would do it myself!
No he doesn't need a onesie - that's just more laundry for me!
Feed him yourself...give him a TBONE - give him something! (kidding, kidding!)
Bring them all in bed with us - just let me sleep!
Give him some babyfood - whatever you find at the store just buy it!
He can almost hold a spoon - give him a bowl of Cheerios and milk!
Help...anywhere...anything...just help me.



See, when you give up some control, you can actually get some sleep!

I can't help but laugh when I'm around new parents.  (I have earned my right to giggle after 12 years of parenting - and I will admit this - the one thing I know after 12 years is that I KNOW NOTHING and I DO NOT GIVE ADVICE! That being said...)  After nearly 40 weeks of bonding between mother and baby, it is only natural for mom to feel like she has to do everything.  That's understandable.  But the sooner you learn to lean on Dad for stuff, the better.  I totally understand the need for control, but moms need help - so the sooner you ask for help the better.  You can gently nudge and guide on how things should be done or how baby likes something a certain way - just communicate.  The older the wee ones get, the easier it is to relinquish control over everything.  Those first days/months/years are tough - those babies are so needy and so particular, but they'll be ok as long as someone loves them, cares for them,  and pays attention to what they're doing! That's all the advice I am going to just barely give.

Now that the boys are getting older, I can't help but still micromomage when it comes to clothes.  If Hubs picks out their clothes on that particular day, it is blatantly obvious.  I don't know why it is so hard to pick out outfits that match.  Maybe it's because I don't have any little girls that I so desperately want my boys to look nice...maybe it's because I am a bit of a fashionista myself and I feel like it's a hobby of mine - or perhaps it is because Hubs feels like the fact that they are dressed is good enough - I don't know.  Regardless, it's the one thing I can't seem to let go of.


See why I love this cartoon?  I could've written this but I have zero drawing skills!

I know this for sure.  Being a Micromomager is EXHAUSTING.  You want something done right, you do it yourself - but be prepared to have a lot more on your plate than most people can manage.  Take for example when you get sick and have to stay in bed for a day (you cannot afford to be sick for more than a day or the household may collapse..but that's another blog for another day).  You physically cannot keep up and must stay in bed. If you've controlled everything up until now, how is Hubby going to manage? Here are the important things to consider when it comes to the kids and letting go control to the Hubs.  There are 3 important factors going through Hub's mind:  Are they fed?  Are they (somewhat )clean?  Are they content?   That's it.  If they destroy every room in the house, including the kitchen - that doesn't get factored in to the equation - just the fact that their basic needs are being met.  When you finally feel well enough to come downstairs from your Nyquil induced slumber, you will most likely be met by happy children and a very messy house.  It happens.


There are things you can get worked up over that are worth getting worked up over - things like safety, good decisions, hygiene, etc.  Then there are things not worth getting worked up over.  You've got to weigh it all out in your head and think before you micromomage.  The more you let go of control, the more help you are going to get.  Encourage, empower, empathize.  All good words to keep in mind.  Being a parent is a learning process and it takes patience, love and effort on both parts to get to a happy place.  It is so rewarding when you know you have a good partner to go through it with.  (Maybe the fact that I was divorced when Eldest was merely 8 months old, showed me how very hard it is when you have no one to help, and made me appreciate someone who was there to support and love me through the parenting journey the second time around).


More Baby Blues cartoons - one of my absolute faves.  http://babyblues.com/

Aren't we all just doing the best we can?
Until next time...go easy on yourselves (and your Hubbys) would ya? The world is hard enough as it is.  We could all use a little help.
Cheers and Love,
~DG



15 comments:

  1. I laughed so hard I spit out my Diet Coke! I know someone very well who yells at her husband for everything he tries to do. Now he just sits and waits to be directed. And she wonders why she is tired all the time! It's not worth doing it all yourself..it's way too exhausting! Loved this - very true - very funny. Thanks for the laugh and lunchtime! P.J.

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    1. We all know someone just like this, don't we! I am so so guilty of being a Momager..it's just after child 2 and 3 - it wasn't worth it anymore - I was going insane! lol Thanks for reading!

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  2. I could have written this! So fussy and a controlling b*tch with our daughter, easier with our son, even though he was the one to worry about, him being 5 weeks early and all.
    Around me I see women being worse, taking on 4 kids by themselves, not allowing their significant others to bond with the kids, a thing that is sooooo important.
    But hey, who am I to judge when I'm such a control freak myself? Fortunately, my friends are all very relaxed parents. It's at the school that I work in where the differences are huge.
    I'm also blessed with a Hubs that doesn't nag or whine when he has to pick up the kids, feed them and put them to bed when I have a parent-teacher meeting. The one thing that I can get very worked up about is when he leaves the room like some sort of natural disaster went through it and he just sits in his chair reading or gaming. Silly me, right?
    Thanks for a great read again, kali spera!

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    1. You are too funny...I know - same w/ my hubs - it doesn't bother him at all that the room is upside down - he can go about his day and be fine. It drives me bonkers though!
      Kali Spera! xo

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  3. I love your posts! First of all it stinks that you have to put a disclaimer on something so lighhearted and fun because of the handful of people who take themselves too seriously. Second of all, why IS it so hard for men to dress kids? I have a son so I thought it would be a breeze for my hubby to get the kid dressed but it's like he looks into my son's closet and his brain shuts down. Once again you made me smile!

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    1. I know Karin..I like to put the disclaimer just to point out all of the possible landmines! I never want to offend - just entertain kindly that's all! Do you think men are color blind - or they just don't get it?
      Lol...you are too sweet - thanks for reading Karin! xo

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  4. oh DG. I love the hell out of you. And respect you so much for the work you do as a mama and how you laugh at yourself. Equal importance. I'm so happy to have you in my circle. SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL for you. YOu can micromanage me cuz I hand eveyrthing off to my husband.

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    1. I'm in your circle!? YES!! (happy dance!) If you can't laugh - you've got no hope left! So glad to have you laughing with me.. love ya! xo

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  5. Awesome and entertaining post! I love how it all goes down hill after the first. Adolpha doesn't hardly know her alphabet, but at this age Gomer was reading. Ugh.

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    1. I've given up at this point. If I can keep everyone fed, bathed, taxi'd to appropriate sporting events, and 'meeting developmental milestones' I'm doing fine. lol!! Thanks xo

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  6. Great post!! The greatest day of my life was the day I said "honey, I'm going out with friends, be home around 10" and left the hubs and the boy to their own devices. I came home to both my boys in their underwear covered in Cheetos dust. I had a million questions, first and foremost, why is he still awake? But my 2 year old was so happy that I just couldn't find it in my heart to complain. Daddys don't always do it our way (i.e.: right), but as long as it gets done, who cares? :)

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  7. I love when my husband helps me out and we only have two! Granted, I do the eye roll at the mess I usually have to clean up and I still prefer to just do it myself most of the time because then I know it will be done the way I like it done, not that it means that's the right way. I will never forget the time I had to go out of town for a week. My hubby said, "I never realized how much you had to do every day. I'm so glad you are home. And I will try to help out more."

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  8. Momofkids4 (twitter)
    I have 4 kids of my own and that just made me laugh so hard. i loved it especially the last cartoon pic about the dad taking the kids out to the park. LMAO!

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  9. This was awesome!!!! I know the feeling as well. With my oldest I was a control freak, by the third boy...if there wasn't blood they could scream Mom from the roof and I didn't move. (ok, not totally serious, but I have been known to dispel an argument with the statement if there is no blood you guys are just fine. now go play.)

    You rock! This post is beautiful and I love you!

    We momagers eventually get over it, or fall asleep during baseball games :D

    XOXO

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  10. The hubs and I had a knock down drag out fight earlier day about exactly this. I'll give you credit for being the reason I'm gonna go tell him I was wrong.
    Fabulous post :)

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