Friday

Who is DG?

 

Who is DG?

(who cares?)

 

 

If you are reading this, it either means you have come here to learn some unknown and obscure facts about me or that you still need more coffee and are desperately looking for a blog to read while drinking it, or it's Friday and you are at work, but not ready to actually work so by reading this blog you are staring at your screen intently, giving off the image that you really are working and concentrating.  Regardless, you are here and that makes me happy.
 
Yesterday,the spectacular man behind the funny blog called The Hubs tagged me (shaking my fist at you Hubs! You know I can't ever say no when someone throws the blogger gauntlet down in front of me!) in a WHO IS_____? post, delivering a challenge to let readers get a closer look at the person behind the blog.  So, here we go.  As if anyone really cares.  I will indulge.  (Hi mom, I know you are the only one reading this...love you.)
 
I will not be tagging other bloggers because then I'll be the one getting the fist shaking and shin-kicking. I will say this - please, if you want to try this on your page, please do so..but I didn't want to be the one to peer pressure you into it. 

1. I am Greek. I speak Greek, terribly and incorrectly - but I can say what I need to and get my point across. NO I do not eat Gyros and Baklava every day.  Yes, I am a good cook and a good little pastry baker/maker.  Yes I know how to work with Filo dough - and here's a newsflash:  IT'S NOT HARD TO WORK WITH...it's just an act.  All of these years, Greek women have been pretending that Filo is hard to work with and Baklava and Spanakopita are 'so hard' to make and take HOURS and backbreaking effort to put together.  It's a lie. If you know how to wrap something in tissue paper, you can use Filo Dough.  There.  I spilled one of the biggest secrets of Greek women.  Guilt and Martyring ourselves are our specialty. We, as Greek women pride ourselves in being martyrs for the greater good of the family.  We are the LAST to sit during a meal.  We walk around and hold a very hot plate (my Yia Yia would say, "it's very hot, let ME hold it for you..(as if her skin wasn't as important as mine), while making sure everyone is 'served' first at the table.  We do NOT sit down, until nearly everyone at the table has begged with exhausting undertones...'SIT DOWN WOULD YOU??? THE FOOD IS GETTING COLD!' This ridiculous act is something that is passed down and learned through the generations.  The matriarch, or the hostess of that particular dinner party needs to sit in the chair closest to the kitchen as she will get up every 5 seconds if she gets wind of anyone needing anything at all.  Soon, shouts of  "no really, I can get it.." or "please finish your meal" will fall on deaf ears.  This is what we do.  We are raised to feed, serve, and protect our family.  If you DARE say no to the food we offer, you are put on a shameful, blackballed-type of list.  (See Greek Theory: 'He/she said no to my cooking, they cannot be trusted.") In order to fall in the loophole of having an acceptable excuse to decline said greek woman's cooking, you must get into some detail on your intestinal issues and/or say you are about to go into surgery and can't eat for 24 hours. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DON'T EAT NO MEAT? <---This line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a perfect depiction of a Greek woman.  Vegan? Gluten Free?  Forget it - don't even try to explain. One final note, because we aren't weird enough, I am a Greek Dance Teacher and have been for 20 years.  No we do not break plates unless we are at a greek nightclub or a wedding whose venue allows for this practice, yes I know how to dance Zorba the Greek and no, I do not walk around yelling "Opa" every five minutes.
 
 
2.  I speak fluent Movie Quotes.  Anyone who knows me knows that for every occasion, there is a movie line to help make it funnier.  My specialty is Moonstruck, My Big Fat Greek Wedding (obviously), Sixteen Candles, Coal Miner's Daughter, and The Breakfast Club.  If, on the rare occasion I can't come up with anything from a movie, there is undoubtedly a jingle of some sort that I can sing a line from (terribly I'll admit) to do the trick.  Finally, while I cannot for the life of me remember much of anything, I know every line to every 80's song and will use it at any given time.
 
 
SNAP OUT OF IT!!
 
 
3.  I am not a writer, but I play one on the Internet.  I did well in school with my writing classes, yes.  But truth -be- told I am no pro (go figure).  I use too many .....'s and make lots of errors when it comes to punctuation.  I get my point across though -  so whatever.  I know I will never make money doing this - but I do it for the laughs, for the friendships and because it's my hobby and I love it.  What I really hope, though, is that my readers truly understand how very very grateful I am that I've been allowed into their lives, their days, and their hearts.  That is probably the coolest thing about my hobby.  I read every comment, though I can't always reply.  I appreciate the time taken to write me!
 

4.   I have three boys, plus a 12 year old boy disguised as a 40-year-old man to call my husband.  They are sweet, funny, Lego-loving, Star Wars fanatics and I wouldn't trade them for the world.  They are my little fortress around my castle, adoring and protective.  I am one fortunate woman to call them mine.  My husband put me on a pedestal the first day he met me, and has kept me there ever since.  He knew my worth from the get-go and has loved me unconditionally, and has shown me that you can laugh and love every single day - no matter what you are going through.  I have been through some bad stuff in my life, and that only makes me appreciate my second chance at happiness even more.  I don't even mind having to play Princess Lea or Padme every. single. time.
 


 
 
 
5. I love animals.  Especially cats.  I have three of them. Two calico bad-attitude bitches, and one silly little Ewok named Manny.  We lost the love of our life a few years back - Biggie Smalls, the Notorious C.A.T.  and I still have an empty spot in my heart because of him.  I give them all ridiculous voices, usually with accents.  They all play a role, probably begrudgingly, in my daily entertainment. 
Manny the Putz - he likes to poop in his litterbox while I am cleaning it.  Jerk.  I love him though.
 
Rest in Peace Biggie Smalls.
 
6.  I am a shopaholic.  I don't go out and just buy anything though.  I am a sale scavenger.  I love getting good deals and using coupon on top of coupon to score a win.  It's one of several vices.  (See food and gambling).  I am terrible, awful, horrible at Math - but Sale Math - I could be a damn Professor. 
 
 
 
7.  I have a not-so-secret love affair with slot machines.  Especially Wheel of Fortune.  I seriously get a high off of the chinging- bell ringing- crazy -annoying sounds of multiple slot machines ringing.  It's not to the point where I need to call gamblers anon.  I only go twice a year - but between those visits, my arm and elbow twitch with desire to pull the arm of that damn machine.
Hellooo lover!
8.  The most frequent question I get is "are you from New Jersey?" - Seriously.  If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that.  No.  I was born and raised in O-H........anyone, come on finish it for me...(you there, thank you!)  I-O!  Which is why I am such a kind heart.  :)    I've lived in New England for 19 years and still no one thinks I am a New Englander.  I do not walk around in Birkenstocks with a bulky sweater and handmade earrings - nor do I EVER go out in public without makeup.  Does that make me stand out up here?  Apparently so.  Funny story - last week in Chicago with a bunch of my favorite bloggers, we got out of our car, and some people on the sidewalk said..."hey, ain't that the girl from Mob Wives?"   No.  It ain't.
 
 
No.  I do not star in the show Mob Wives.  I am not a Jersey Girl (no offense to them at all, they are gorgeous), and I am not EYE-talian.  (I love Italians ...they are like a happy cousin to us Greeks..)  But no.  None of the above am I. 
9.  I am a runner.  Only different.  After 25 years of believing my Track coach when she told me I "wasn't built for running"  I finally proved her otherwise.  I taught myself how to run last year and can count on two hands the number of 5Ks I have suffered through in the past 24 months.  I hate running...and I hate exercise - but let me tell you.  I LOVVVE the results, I love to eat, and I love to say that I can do something that someone clearly stated that I CANNOT do.  Will I ever run a 10k? Nope.  13. whatever 1/2 marathon - hells no.  Full marathon ?  NOT UNLESS THERE IS A CHECK FOR A MILLION WAITING FOR ME AT THE FINISH!!
 
 
 
That's all for now, loves.  Loves?  Oh nooo, you're sleeping...there, there.  That's ok, you take a nap there on your keyboard and I'll just wait here. 
 
Until next time, happy napping,
~DG

32 comments:

  1. From a fellow Real Greek Housewife of New England...I applaud you! You've offically made my morning!! OPAAAA!!

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    1. Irene...you must come over for coffee and koulouria to dip in as well. We can break plates and gossip together. xo

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    2. Don't forget the flintsani...we must know what the future has in store...Breaking plates and gossip sounds like a fun morning to me...just say when.

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  2. Two things:
    1. I am Italian. I share your distrust of people who turn down my food. Last fall I prepared homemade hummus for one of my grad classes and one person turned it down for the ridiculous reason, "I don't eat hummus." You may not eat hummus, but now you've been blackballed by me. Hope it was worth it.

    2. I am also a writing teacher and I am telling you, you are a writer. Being a writer does not mean you don't use 's or have perfect punctuation. If that was a requirement, I think only 3 people in the course of history would have been able to pull it of, Shakespeare not being one of them. To be a writer, all you have to do is write. You can write in text speak, one run on sentence, or a series of fragments. It may not be easily understood, but you'd still be a writer. Take this identity and embrace it! Say, I am a writer!!

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    1. KLUNK. I just died. Thank you for those amazingly sweet comments. I always think of (I'm pretty sure) Maya Angelou who said "Each time I write a book, … I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out." Doesn't everyone feel that way? And by the way, I love that you blackballed that non-hummus eating crazy person! Cheers love!

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    2. I think everyone feels like a fraud. The other day I was lamenting that I am probably the stupidest person in the history of the world to ever be accepted to graduate school. My advisor (who has a Ph.D.) said that feeling never goes away. And that you're always afraid you'll wake up some morning and they'll have figured out you're a fraud. It made me feel better.

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  3. You had me at "Coal Miner's Daughter". There was no need to read any further....of course I read it all...Geesh.

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  4. I am a non-Italian Jersey girl & I love you to pieces -- AND I read on purpose, not because I was bored. Admittedly, I am drinking my coffee :) xxoo

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  5. Thank you! I was absolutely reading this with my first cup of coffee AND while at work yet not ready to actually work...it's like you're really here with me!

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    1. Oh, and I am definitely stealing the image at the end. That might be just the motivation I need to get my butt off the sofa this weekend - pie.

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  6. Okay, I'll play. Got nothing original to write about today anywho.... http://i-ranger.blogspot.com/2012/11/who-is-ranger-anna.html

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  7. I too am from Ohio and still there. My sister has lived in VA for 25 years and raised 2 kids there and they still think she's a Yankee, so it isnt just New England. And I know exactly what you mean about not thinking one is a writer, but I am trying to do better about it and you should too, because you are a lot of fun to read.

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  9. You just outed me! For years I have had people convinced that making baklava is soooooo difficult - which is why I only make it once a year and give as Christmas gifts...
    and I'm a NJ native, Greek, living in Ohio...love your blog!

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  10. So...the real question that was not answered...do you pee in the shower?

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  11. DG, Thanks for baring your soul and filling us all in! This just reaffirms all I have learned about you since I started reading your blog .Your an awesome well rounded individual that wears many hats and even though you think your not great at writing you had me fooled there!Love your blog its my fav of favs its the first one I go to every day .

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  12. i love your blog its so upbeat and funny but i lve learning about other people keep it up doing a great job and if you ever get a chance check out my blog http://realhousewifemommastyle.blogspot.com/

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  13. Ooooh, I love the ...'s, so glad I am not alone there! And the rear window flair? We have a stormtrooper head with a bow, darth head, Luke and leia heads...more good company!

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  14. I am right there with you with Clearance/Sale Math. I can't tell you what two plus two equals, but I can take 75% off 6.99 plus my 15% off coupon while I earn $10 for every $50 I spent. Next time someone asks if you're from Mob Wives you should say, "What are you looking at? You want my autograph or something?"

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  15. I also speak in 80's lyrics and movie quotes ;-) Love reading your blog!

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  16. I'm not Greek, but I'm IBM (Italian by marriage) and the Italians are just as fun. My grandmother-in-law is basically Livia Soprano, and my father-in-law looks just like a mob boss. Seriously, people have taken me aside and whispered to me at parties because they are a little concerned about who he might be. I speak in movie/TV quotes, live in New England, abhor birkenstocks and bulky sweaters, and am amazing at sale/coupon math. I'm also a "fake writer" although I'm not funny so people don't flock to me. Glad to find another blog to follow!

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    1. MEREDITH!!! We could be such good friends!!! xo

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  17. You crack me up woman! Love it.

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  18. Dear DG,
    I also speak in movie quotes and love cats. Are we related? I still don't know how to pronounce your last name. Maybe you can give me a tutorial at BlogHer. Or maybe I'll just call you DG.
    Can we watch Moonstruck together and pet our kitties? Okay, you bring the baklava. Smooches.

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  19. Such a great blog! While I may not actually be Greek nor was raised in Ohio, I'm a wanna-be on both fronts. My BFF from high school is Greek and we went on this amazing trip to Greece one summer through her church. They made a special exception to let me, a Cathilic, in on the fun. I went to Denison in the booming metropolis of Granville, so OH has a special ave in my heart. As does Breakfast Club and Dirty Dancing. Lastly, I live outside Boston. So, obv we should be friends.

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  20. OMG - I just told my husband that I'm not the only one constantly referencing movie dialogue, commercial jingles and pop music. I read on YKIHAYHT that you do impressions. Same here. So our husbands could form their own little support group. lol.

    I live in Jersey, but I'm not Italian - I'm originally from Ohio.

    Favorite Moonstruck line? "I lost my hand! I lost my girl! Johnny's got HIS hand! Johnny's got HIS girl!"

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  21. Just started reading your blog and you won me over with OH-IO! I'm a Buckeye now living in Kentucky! Love what I've read so far and look forward to enjoying more!!!! (And thanks for letting us in on the big filo dough secret - I've always been a little intimidated by it!)

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    1. Hi Cathy!! So happy to have you here my fellow Buckeye! I swear something about Ohioans are very very special..especially the girls. Thanks for the note. xo O-H- ..

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  22. Wait! What? I can use Filo dough? Me? Really? Spanokapitas (I can't even spell it) which I freakin' adore and can eat as a main dish aren't difficult? This has blown my mind this morning. !!! I love you Domestic Goddess!!

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  23. Thank you for your blog. I have enjoyed reading it and it has given me inspiration and a bit of peace. Wonderful insights and advice. I've needed it.

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