|Some of the best gifts can't be wrapped...like a good night of sleep!|
Newborns to 3 months: You babies are tough little ones aren’t you? Mommy just got done with 40 weeks of physical discomfort from nausea to heartburn, swelling to frequent flatulence. Top that off with hours of labor and delivery - related misery, and I’d say you’ve got some work to do this Mother’s Day, baby cakes! Here’s a thought. If you’re a healthy little one, why not throw back a few extra ounces on Saturday night and then sleep for 9 hours straight. Mommy might panic a little and come in and check your breathing and gently nudge you to make sure you are ok, but just do me a favor and pretend you’re sleeping and even give her a gentle cooing noise and go back to sleep. Your gift of a few extra hours of slumber will ensure she will have the best Mother’s Day she can.
3 months to 1 year: Hey little munchkins! I know you get cranky from all of that growing you’re doing, but I’ve got an idea for a gift for your Mommies that have worked so hard to get you to this stage! How about you actually swallow the teething tabs she gives you and let the pain ease up enough to not be cranky for the 24 hours on Mother’s Day? Maybe not fight her when she gives you a frozen teether, not drop it on the floor every 2 minutes, or throw it across the room. Just pretend that what she’s doing is actually working and give her a little break from this frustrating transition. If you really can’t give up the teething for one night, here’s another idea. When mommy gets you dressed up in your fancy Sunday clothes before her nice Mother’s Day Brunch, don’t have a blow out right as your family is walking out the door and ruin your outfit. Try to have the blowout before she gets you dressed. This is one of the kindest, most considerate Mother’s Day gifts you could give her.
Toddlers 1-3 years: Ohhh look at you guys getting SOO big! Big enough to pull off a great gift for Mom this year that’s for sure! Ready for some suggestions? Here goes! When Mommy plays airplane with your creamed carrots and spinach, just go ahead and OPEN UP WIDE instead of spewing them in her hair, face, and clothes like you usually do! Try to avoid finger painting your hair, face and highchair if at all possible. I know, I know, it’s all fun and games on any other day - but this day is different. Just try to get it all in your mouth and swallow. That’s a good toddler! Terrible two year olds - pssst. Yeah YOU. Lay off the word “NO” today. You use it wayyy too much and it gets really old after a while. What you can do for your Mommy today is just say “YES“! Try it! It’s so fun! YES YES YES! And to you three year olds, here’s your job for today; when Mommy gets a phone call, don’t see that as a cue to start fighting with siblings, asking her questions, and insisting that you have to tell her something important. Just let her have a peaceful 10 minute conversation on the phone that doesn’t involve putting the person she’s speaking to on hold to bribe you with something to keep you quiet. While you’re at it, try to curb your need for juice and goldfish every 10 minutes so she doesn’t have to wait on you 20 times on Mother’s Day. An even better idea - try asking Daddy for once! If he doesn’t know where the Goldfish are, show him. Good job - you kids are great gift givers, you know that!?
Gradeschool 5-11 years: Gradeschoolers. Gradeschoolers. Gradeschoolers. Lend me your wax-filled, selective-hearing ears. Do I have your attention? Good. This is important. Mom has been taking care of you all year long. She gets 24 hours out of the 8,000+ hours in a year that she gives you so let’s make this count. Here’s what you can give her today. When you get up, be sure to make your bed. Brush your teeth without her telling you to. Get a bath or shower without being prodded, get dressed without drama, brush your own hair and be self-sufficient for the entire day. For the love of Pete, do not even think about telling Mom at 5:00 pm on Mother’s Day that you have a Science Project or report due on Monday. Get your homework done before Sunday without being asked, and if you get dressed up to go to breakfast, lunch or dinner in honor of mom, pu-leaaase don’t say you’re bored. Do these things, and you will have repaid your Mom back for a year of being the Best Mother Ever.
Tweens - 11-12 years: Today I want you to focus on the bathroom. Boys, pee IN the toilet. Any splashes? Wipe them up. Check the floor. Splashes down there? Clean it up. Girls - did you use the last of the toilet paper? Change the roll. Did you use the last roll? Go get another package from storage. Did you get soap all over the sink, water too? Get a paper towel and clean it up. Pay attention to details today kids. Clean up after yourselves and watch just how impressed your Mom will be with her ‘gift.’ Ease up on the eye rolls today, too. A few hugs and kisses would be spectacular. You aren’t too old to stop the affection, are you?
Teens 13+: Well hello loves. I’m sure you’re angry or frustrated about something this weekend. I get it. I’ve been there! Can you maybe put your anger on the backburner this weekend though? At least for Sunday. While you’re putting things away, can you go ahead and put your cell phone, ipod, ipad, Xbox, Wii controllers, etc. down too. Oh, one more thing - just for the day, log off of Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and Youtube and just give your mom your undivided attention for about an hour or two. Talk to her, tell her something funny, be kind, be appreciative. I’m sure you’ve got a little fun money in your piggy bank to buy a simple, thoughtful, heartfelt card as well. She will treasure that card as long as she lives - and who knows, she may remember it next time you ask to sleep over a friend’s house or go to a party. Oh, one more thing - if you have any bad news pending such as detentions, bad report cards, and anything like that, just do yourself and her a favor and wait until Monday to deliver the news. You’re a good sport for letting her enjoy this one big day.
Dads: Dads listen up. I’m not going to sugar-coat anything for you. If you even THINK about NOT getting her something, and using the excuse “you’re not my mother,” you haven’t learned anything in your adult life. Don’t do that. That’s a dirt bag move. We all know we aren’t your mother, nor do we want to be (although it’s ok for us to do your laundry, clean up your urine on and around the toilet, throw your dirty socks in the hamper that you managed to leave just outside of the hamper, and many other motherly duties). We are your children’s mother. We went through a lot to bring them into this world, and we go through a lot to keep them healthy and happy in this world - the least you can do is help them with getting a small gift, or if they are too little, pick up something nice on their behalf. Lingerie is another creeper move. That is not a gift on their behalf - that is YOU hoping to get lucky on Mother’s Day. Stop that. Today is NOT about you. How about a spa gift card? A mall gift card tucked inside a sweet card is always nice, too. Please - no pink -wrapped grocery store/ gas station roses or carnations. That says ‘desperate-last minute - no thought-put-in’ douche bag move. You have over 365 days to know that Mother’s Day is coming so don’t pull the “I didn’t have time to pick anything up” line either. Dads, you can do this - I know you can. Make sure she doesn’t have to cook, she doesn’t have to yell, and she doesn’t have any unnecessary drama for the day. You’ve got this.
|Never. Ever. Say this.|
Being a Mother truly is the greatest gift in the world. Being pampered once a year is a close second- so do your part in getting it right. Cheers, and a very Happy Mother’s Day, too. ~DG